Thumbs down, thumbs down, thumbs down, thumbs up

Stella and Mitch,

I've been reading a lot lately, doing some souls searching. I think everyone does this from time to time.  

I recently listened to this book called "The gifts of imperfect parenting" and one story stuck with me. This woman was a swim instructor and frequently held flip turn camps. You are both really strong swimmers even as I write this so I have a feeling you'll know what that is. I was a strong swimmer too and never mastered the flip turn because it's tricky. This particular teacher would make her students do flip turns over and over again. With each try she would give them a thumbs up or thumbs down. In order to stop you had to get 5 thumbs ups. Some of the parents got together and told the teacher she needed to stop giving thumbs down signs to the children. A thumbs down is way too harsh! I'm writing this to you to tell you that life is harsh, thumbs downs are necessary. They hurt, but when you get a  lot of thumbs down it makes a thumbs up moment so much sweeter. 

I would have to say my life has been a million thumbs downs. I'm not a natural at anything. I had to be tutored in math, i was the slowest in gym class (I used to skip laps on mile run day so I wouldn't be the last to finish).  I was the slowest typer in typing class (I actually had to come in early before school to finish the work that everyone else could do during class time). I never made the greatest grades, just average, and I worked hard to get those grades. This sounds really sad right? Funny enough I'm one of the happiest people I know and I firmly believe it's because of all of these early thumbs downs. 

Let me catch you up to present day. I do math for a living, it's a true passion and when I'm in the middle of a math problem I lose all track of space and time. It's my Nervana. In fact I manage a team of people that do math. I don't know that I always inspire but I'm really good at confusing people. 😃

I workout 6 days a week. It's my solace. It makes me a happier, more centered soul while also making me feel amazing. Movement is almost spiritual to me at this point in my life. Daily I'm in awe of what I can do. 

I'm typing this and clearly have mastered the skill. I can type faster than I can write. I basically type everything. It even helps me organize my thoughts better. 

I'm probably one of the most successful people I graduated with from high school and college. This is arguable of course but I'm living my passion every single day and for some reason people pay me to do that! In my book that's success. 

So why am I telling you all of this? In the hopes that you get a lot of thumbs downs too. Because if you're like me (and genetically you are) you'll keep plugging away until you get the sweetest thumbs up moments that make it all worthwhile. I will want to make everything thumbs up for you but honestly I would take away so much from your life if I did. So, when I don't go to your teachers for you and I don't punch the kid that bullied you please know this is my way of loving you. We can talk through these moments and I'm always here as a guide and sounding board, but you have to earn your thumbs downs to earn your thumbs ups. 

I love you my sweet babies. 

Mom