Career Strong

  Pb&j, salt and pepper, mustard and ketchup. Then you meet your daughter and, a few years later, your son and you wonder how you ever survived without a Stella and Mitch in your life. 

Stella, Last night you got the stomach virus your brother brought home a few days ago. You were happily playing with the Kindle and you started throwing up. We raced to the bathroom just in time for the big heave. At first I thought you were scared but then I realized you were mad! When the inevitable dry heaves started you started screaming Noooooo!  I told you to give in to them as they would pass. You refused to do that and continued to fight and scream Noooo! We laid on the floor, you naked as your pajamas got a heavy heave on them. I cradled you in my arms feeling completely helpless. I want to protect you from everything and make the hurt go away. I was thinking, why can't I do this for you??  Then it hit me, you already are stronger than me. You wouldn't even give in to the dry heaves. Your defiance will serve you well my dear. Never stop fighting little one. People will tell you to give up or that you can't. After watching you fight with your own body last night I c...

Stella and Mitch, I've been reading a lot lately, doing some souls searching. I think everyone does this from time to time.   I recently listened to this book called "The gifts of imperfect parenting" and one story stuck with me. This woman was a swim instructor and frequently held flip turn camps. You are both really strong swimmers even as I write this so I have a feeling you'll know what that is. I was a strong swimmer too and never mastered the flip turn because it's tricky. This particular teacher would make her students do flip turns over and over again. With each try she would give them a thumbs up or thumbs down. In order to stop you had to get 5 thumbs ups. Some of the parents got together and told the teacher she needed to stop giving thumbs down signs to the children. A thumbs down is way too harsh! I'm writing this to you to tell you that life is harsh, thumbs downs are necessary. They hurt, but when you get a  lot of thumbs down it makes a thumbs ...

This time Mitch actually baptized himself. He was so mad and wet. I had iTunes Radio playing rock and roll lullabies (because they are my favorite) and "hey Jude" came on. I immediately started singing along with the instrumental and Mitch instantly stopped crying and stared at me. This may be our song. 

Born Mitchell Ryan Hawkins was born February 27, 2015 weighing 8lbs 1oz. Exactly what I weighed!  I ended up with a c section because this little guy was breech but I must say it was not bad at all! I'm glad I was in shape because the hardest part was walking the first time. I 100% believe I divine intervention and I think I was supposed to be in great shape to ready myself for this activity. My arms and legs are making up for my abs and I'm once again in awe of my body.  Stella   To make Stella feel special we had a birthday party for Mitch in the hospital and Mitch brought Stella a gift (a Minnie Mouse look and find book and a Minnie dress up set). We also had a cupcake cake. Stella was thrilled. (Mission accomplished!!) Grandparents What would I do without my parents and my inlaws. I am truly blessed to have so much support and love not only for Darren and me but especially for our babies. Seeing the grandparents with our second child was just as thrilling as when they...

Dear Mitch, As I watch it snow I realize this will be the last time I watch this without you being here. Tomorrow is the last time I go to work without knowing your face. Friday is the last day I will get out of bed without you. I'm so excited to meet you my little man.  I have so much I want to share with you and my heart is so full, ready to love you. You see, I've always wanted a son. I feel a bond between a mother and son is unbreakable.  Your sister taught me how to love unconditionally but I believe you will continue that journey in my heart.  I want to give you sage advice about life and tell you something really remarkable but to be honest all I want to do is love you. If I do that right then I feel everything else in your life with make sense and have more meaning. I read this quote that said "men are what their mothers made them". No pressure right? Although I have a feeling you'll be more of the teacher and I will learn so much from you.  So for the las...